for once

I would like to be cliche, you know? I'd like a girl I could take out on a date and on New Years or the 4th of July I could kiss her under fireworks. I'd take her on the most amazing old school dates and stuff and we would have nothing but fun. Instead I am alone again on a holiday I actually like, its been like this for years, girls just mess with my head and not once was one truthful to me. The only time I "loved" someone she dumped me and I haven't been the same since. I was so careful with her, I tried to do everything right and I did my best to try and make the relationship last and she dumped me sooner then I thought she would. Been single for over a year and it is getting tiring. It's officially the fourth of July and again I am alone...

do i want sympathy for writing this? no, I dont even think anyone will read this. I never tell anyone anything and I guess this is my only way of actually "venting" without anyone caring.