vagabond

One day I hope to vanish
To disappear as if I was illusion
I want to find myself where no one sees me as a familiar face
My name will be a figment of many imaginations alike
When I am mentioned in conversation I wish for it to change

I want to wake up in a new town
To walk the streets with no recognition
My mom wanted to change my name to James Dean
One day I’ll wake up James Dean and all
I want to vanish into thin air

Just pick my stuff up and go
Travel light, enough to fit in my car
No goodbyes, no hat-trick show
I just wanna take my car and go as far as I can go

Houdini once said, “It is still an open question, however, as to what extent exposure really injures a performer.”
I wish for no exposure, for exposure equals pain
He also said, “The easiest way to attract a crowd is to let it be known that at a given time and a given place some one is going to attempt something that in the event of failure will mean sudden death.”
If I want people to know where I stand I’ll just tell people I am going to die.

thinking

Lay awake with eye lids heavy,
Eyes watery and the mind is weary,
My head is searching for that one sign of closure,
That one sign that leads to my dreamlike state,
"Why couldn't it be her?"
Never been so complacent while still my self-esteem remains low
There remains that one unanswered question
And there my mind remains restless
A dreary head lies on a heart trying to keep its composure.

got offered another job!

working for FOX Reality TV for $275.00 a day for 10 days! Right as I started to get scared things picked themselves right back up! I am so relieved!

In Atlanta right now celebrating my brothers B-Day with him, I am just in a very comfortable place right now and it rules! There is and always will be something that could make things better but as of right now those things don't really matter to me very much.

AMAZING!

Never been so scared

my mom called me first to tell me my little sister is sick,
then my brother calls me and says she is in the hospital,
afterward I had to talk to my mom to learn she had appendicitis and might be rushed to surgery cause it bursted.
she is fine now after surgery but I have never been so scared, never cared so much for another human being. she means the world and more to me and I am going to treat her like the princess she is when I get home!

Ever write what first comes to your head?

Sorry signifies sorrow’s shadow
Apologetic after angst
Lively living lethargically
Apologetic sorrow lives within my very soul

Resting restlessly, raging ruthlessly
The heart of a lion rests peacefully within the very skin of a field mouse
But the field mouse was never taken seriously

I remember when you used to call me perfect,
Of course I would disagree and suggest the opposition to perfection
For no man is perfect and I am no exception
Just like the mouse I am small but sight is the clear sense of deception

Shine a little light

Where the light divides the day
The night finds a way to stay
Can’t wait for it to get late
So unaware of my current state
I’m just not ready to, not ready for this to end

All problems set aside
Anxious for only satisfaction to come from street lights
Off work, off to the ever lovin night
This is all that feels right
Great Heights could never measure the magic that comes from the sight of the street lights
Every fight every struggle left to die
The lights are a sign
Everything’s fine
So please shine a little light on me
So I may see where I should truly be

Last night

was fun, went to my friends graduation party which got kinda weird once the older friends left. Afterward I chilled with my good friend Jacob from Total Resistance and we had probably one of the more intellectual conversations I have had in a while about friendships and how they all kinda fade away after a while, how one thing leads to another and then the end result is inevitable. We also talked about straight edge and how so many of our friends broke and even though we dont care what our friends do with their lives cause it is their decision it still kinda pains us to see them turn their back on something they once believed in. There is no reason to not have their back however, even if we don't agree turning our back means we were never their friend.
Friendships do come and go very quickly despite what we believe, but their is that one rare occasion.

Going into E3 I spotted some protestors so I interviewed one of them

and here is what happened! HAHA WHY DID I HAND THE GUY THE MIC!

I'm truly happy

I've got pure unadulterated happiness,
I'm 21 and still Straight Edge despite the "temptation" which consist of "you're 21 party a little!" haha lame! I am content and joyful with my well-being right now, life is good! things can only get better, even if it'll be difficult or nearly impossible i'll believe in myself cause that is the only person i should ever rely on.



For the first time in a while I'm smiling about nothing and it feels great!

DAMN EXCITED!

starting a rock'n'roll punk hardcore band! gonna be pure fun and true hardcore, NO BULLSHIT! its a mix between Misfits, Black Flag and Hour of the Wolf plus a little modern hardcore in the mix like Have Heart and Sinking Ships, it'll be something different or at the least I hope so!

OH HOLY CRAP!

I am excited for what lies ahead, take it I am frightened beyond all belief but excited non-the-less! I hope I end up working for Travel Channel, Discovery, or Animal Planet but who knows for sure what'll happen! I can't believe 3 years have passed by!


Well I am going to Atlanta June 23-29 to visit my brother!