Another day
Another story
Another way
Another journey
Another reason to be happy and outright
Another sorrow to keep us down and out of sight
Another person to make us angry and neglected
Another method to keep calm and collected
Another problem with the world around us
Another government putting up a illogical fuss
Breaking away from the everyday
Hiding where no one can find me
Leaving all the nonsense behind
All I want is a beautiful constant
All the problems fade
Hopefully left with the joyous day to day
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Have you ever taken the time to stare into an old man's eyes? I am being serious, you'll see wisdom and sadness that many have forgotten about, they have lost most of everything that made them happy. They have seen more then you can imagine, behind those eyes is every emotion mashed together and a form of happiness non of us can feel. As I look at my grandpa and truly stare him straight in the eyes I see a form of being content with life and how much he has experienced as if he doesn't want to die but when that day comes he will accept it with open arms. It's like he is proud of the accomplishments he has achieved in his life but just wants to be there for those who love him. True unselfishness comes from that man's heart. Whenever I am with him he promises me money when he dies and I answer him with the same response "I don't want it." He never looks at me with a puzzled face though as if he knows that is how I will answer him, he is the only one who knows me all too well as if he can predict my every move and will be right every step of the way. When I am with my grandpa everything is alright, he accepts me with or without tattoos and piercings, he knows how it feels to feel trapped and wanting to fend for yourself and can guide me skillfully through any obstacle. You think you have lived till you have truly stared an old man straight in the eyes and then you realize you aren't even half way there. All these cocky teenagers that have done so many drugs there mind isn't ever fully there think they have lived cause they had it rough when they were on meth, pot, or cocaine the majority of their short lives when in reality they have wasted their whole life while I was busy living it. You don't gain life experiences by doing drugs, you just lose time worth living.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Forgiveness is a lost cause
I dunno why I wrote this or why I write about what troubles me, I guess what others see to be ugly and unwanted I see to be beautiful and right, even if this same ugliness is the reason I am sometimes sad. I gotta say though currently I am as happy as I could be, things are piecing themselves together and I can feel myself getting stronger emotionally and physically. I am happy where I am and I wouldn't change a thing! Well here's what I wrote:
Just a second guess
There can always be a second chance
When one learns to open their heart
Put all grudges aside
Always a wise option to a good start
But it's not easy to see eye to eye
An age old distance grows greater with time
There's this great thick white line
A line that stays between two human beings
When it's drawn there is no eraser
Capable of making it disappear
A human's stubbornness is an ever-growing storm
The more it's fed the stronger it becomes
When will this hurricane die?
When will our heavy-weight egos get off the pedestal and be put aside?
Lookin around more and more people seem to be empty inside
Yet there is no room for another
Selfishness to the point of being heartless
So tough they don't wanna look any further
A loving friendship has no become a hostile nothingness
Where did the beauty go?
What happened to the somewhat dependence?
A love once lost has now become a legend
Second chances have become a myth
The blame becomes strong
Even if both sides are wrong
But life goes on and we all put the past behind us
In the end what is bad terms started with happiness
Just a second guess
There can always be a second chance
When one learns to open their heart
Put all grudges aside
Always a wise option to a good start
But it's not easy to see eye to eye
An age old distance grows greater with time
There's this great thick white line
A line that stays between two human beings
When it's drawn there is no eraser
Capable of making it disappear
A human's stubbornness is an ever-growing storm
The more it's fed the stronger it becomes
When will this hurricane die?
When will our heavy-weight egos get off the pedestal and be put aside?
Lookin around more and more people seem to be empty inside
Yet there is no room for another
Selfishness to the point of being heartless
So tough they don't wanna look any further
A loving friendship has no become a hostile nothingness
Where did the beauty go?
What happened to the somewhat dependence?
A love once lost has now become a legend
Second chances have become a myth
The blame becomes strong
Even if both sides are wrong
But life goes on and we all put the past behind us
In the end what is bad terms started with happiness
Stairing at the paintings on the wall
Wishing I could be trapped in time
No worries about when I'll rise or fall
Everything would be just fine
I watch and wait
Trying to see how long it'll take for things to change
I got love issues
But I love you all the same
Trust you more then I should
Please stay trapped in this painting of mine
Where there is no consequences or time
We could hold hands
Run through the sand
Cliché as it may be
With you I can clearly see
Everything is just a little more vibrant
For once I am just that much more content
Look for me trapped in a photograph
Beautifully painted and composed
No need for an epitaph
This moment has been frozen.
We could stand
Watch and wait
To see how long it’ll take
For things to change
Or just make everything remain the same
All I need is you
All you need is me
We could be together
For everyone to see
Look for me trapped in a photograph
Beautifully painted and composed
No need for an epitaph
This moment has been frozen.
We could stand
Watch and wait
To see how long it’ll take
For things to change
Or just make everything remain the same
I know we’ve had our problems
I know we’ll have some more
There is no way to change them
You I can’t ignore
Let’s forget about the past
Just live for whats gonna come
Wishing I could be trapped in time
No worries about when I'll rise or fall
Everything would be just fine
I watch and wait
Trying to see how long it'll take for things to change
I got love issues
But I love you all the same
Trust you more then I should
Please stay trapped in this painting of mine
Where there is no consequences or time
We could hold hands
Run through the sand
Cliché as it may be
With you I can clearly see
Everything is just a little more vibrant
For once I am just that much more content
Look for me trapped in a photograph
Beautifully painted and composed
No need for an epitaph
This moment has been frozen.
We could stand
Watch and wait
To see how long it’ll take
For things to change
Or just make everything remain the same
All I need is you
All you need is me
We could be together
For everyone to see
Look for me trapped in a photograph
Beautifully painted and composed
No need for an epitaph
This moment has been frozen.
We could stand
Watch and wait
To see how long it’ll take
For things to change
Or just make everything remain the same
I know we’ve had our problems
I know we’ll have some more
There is no way to change them
You I can’t ignore
Let’s forget about the past
Just live for whats gonna come
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Fear of succeeding
What if …?
A question better left unanswered
Balled up tight scared
Scared of succeeding
Don’t want to end up like the low lives that tried
“What would you like to be when you’re older?”
My first grade teacher asked as I answered
“A Parrot”
But looking back I wish I could’ve thought about the question
I’d like to be as far away from the parrot as possible
Sure it ain’t logical but so many have this profession
Walking in others shoes as if they never owned their own
Worn out at 35 they look back and wish they could’ve been original
They just say what others want them to say
Pawns at the hands of a higher power who started as they did
Their future anyone could’ve predicted
Read ‘em like a book
Kissing ass just to get the chance
When they look back they remember that question
“What would you like to be when you’re older?”
All of a sudden the cold shoulder got colder
A question better left unanswered
Balled up tight scared
Scared of succeeding
Don’t want to end up like the low lives that tried
“What would you like to be when you’re older?”
My first grade teacher asked as I answered
“A Parrot”
But looking back I wish I could’ve thought about the question
I’d like to be as far away from the parrot as possible
Sure it ain’t logical but so many have this profession
Walking in others shoes as if they never owned their own
Worn out at 35 they look back and wish they could’ve been original
They just say what others want them to say
Pawns at the hands of a higher power who started as they did
Their future anyone could’ve predicted
Read ‘em like a book
Kissing ass just to get the chance
When they look back they remember that question
“What would you like to be when you’re older?”
All of a sudden the cold shoulder got colder
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Valentine's Day isn't real!
Fuck that holiday it's just a load of bullshit, you can call me the Grinch who fuckin hates Valentine's Day cause I really do! It's just another holiday to make all the single people in the world feel unwanted, thanks Hallmark you guys are true pioneers now fuck off!
I gotta say I am pretty happy though, things are looking up, somehow I feel like there is something missing though, like there was something in the past that just isn't here anymore. Can't really tell ya what it is but it's not the same. Haha oh well everything comes and goes and well I guess I am just gonna have to go to the next phase in my life and move on. If it really matters whatever is missing will come back. Everything needs unusual amounts of time! I wish that wasnt true but it is so I am just gonna have to wait and let everything fix itself up.
Gonna go see Madball, Terror, Hoods, and Alpha and Omega tonight and I am stoked! No more of this depressing shit, no more of this I need a girlfriend shit either! Fuck relationships, if there is a girl for me then she will show up, I am done trying to find her. Things are gonna change and I am ready for it! LA here I come so you better be fucking ready! I am so excited my best friend is moving with me, Britanny and I are going to have so much fun! Plus Winston the french bulldog will be there too!
I gotta say I am pretty happy though, things are looking up, somehow I feel like there is something missing though, like there was something in the past that just isn't here anymore. Can't really tell ya what it is but it's not the same. Haha oh well everything comes and goes and well I guess I am just gonna have to go to the next phase in my life and move on. If it really matters whatever is missing will come back. Everything needs unusual amounts of time! I wish that wasnt true but it is so I am just gonna have to wait and let everything fix itself up.
Gonna go see Madball, Terror, Hoods, and Alpha and Omega tonight and I am stoked! No more of this depressing shit, no more of this I need a girlfriend shit either! Fuck relationships, if there is a girl for me then she will show up, I am done trying to find her. Things are gonna change and I am ready for it! LA here I come so you better be fucking ready! I am so excited my best friend is moving with me, Britanny and I are going to have so much fun! Plus Winston the french bulldog will be there too!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
A young man
With his head in the sand
Asking for forgiveness
But just getting rejection
Treat others like you'd like to be treated
If this were true non of us would've proceeded
With the many actions we carried out in the past
Non of us would last
Non of us would last
He gave others his heart
And they gave him the cold shoulder
He didn't know where to start
Never turned down a single order
A social outcast but not by choice
It's not his fault no one wanted to hear his voice
If he were to treat others the way he was treated
He would curse every living soul he never needed!
With his head in the sand
Asking for forgiveness
But just getting rejection
Treat others like you'd like to be treated
If this were true non of us would've proceeded
With the many actions we carried out in the past
Non of us would last
Non of us would last
He gave others his heart
And they gave him the cold shoulder
He didn't know where to start
Never turned down a single order
A social outcast but not by choice
It's not his fault no one wanted to hear his voice
If he were to treat others the way he was treated
He would curse every living soul he never needed!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Live For Yourself
I am the bastard’s son
I am the wretched one
A dark cloud resting behind joyous eyes
I am anger in disguise
Ain’t got nothing to prove to nobody
Don’t care if you don’t think I am somebody
Like a river flowing through a ghost town
I live life with a smile hidden behind a frown
Tell me where you see yourself in 10 years
This question haunts my ears
I know what I wanna be
There’s no paved road to the American Dream
A long ways to go and lots of hardships ready to sink
I’ll make it or so I think
No matter what
I’ll remain content
I’ll keep my head up
I’ll let the scent of failure escape through the vent
Self acceptance is hard to find
Everything’s gotta die
At least I know I will die with pride
I ain’t gonna lie
Everything’s gotta die
At least I know I will die with pride!
I am the wretched one
A dark cloud resting behind joyous eyes
I am anger in disguise
Ain’t got nothing to prove to nobody
Don’t care if you don’t think I am somebody
Like a river flowing through a ghost town
I live life with a smile hidden behind a frown
Tell me where you see yourself in 10 years
This question haunts my ears
I know what I wanna be
There’s no paved road to the American Dream
A long ways to go and lots of hardships ready to sink
I’ll make it or so I think
No matter what
I’ll remain content
I’ll keep my head up
I’ll let the scent of failure escape through the vent
Self acceptance is hard to find
Everything’s gotta die
At least I know I will die with pride
I ain’t gonna lie
Everything’s gotta die
At least I know I will die with pride!
this peom is probably one of my favorites! my grandma and grandpa used to read me a poem from this author's books every night that I stayed at their house. the only change I would make in the poem is I would change the grandma to grandpa cause I am not fond of my grandma very much cause she divorced my grandpa when he turned 79 and left him when he was his weakest but he is stronger then he ever was now at 86 years old and I love him!
Super Sampson Simpson by Jack Prelutsky
I am Super Samson Simpson,
I'm superlatively strong,
I like to carry elephants,
I do it all day long,
I pick up half a dozen
and hoist them in the air,
it's really somewhat simple,
for I have strength to spare.
My muscles are enormous,
they bulge from top to toe,
and when I carry elephants,
they ripple to and fro,
but I am not the strongest
in the Simpson family,
for when I carry elephants,
my grandma carries me.
Super Sampson Simpson by Jack Prelutsky
I am Super Samson Simpson,
I'm superlatively strong,
I like to carry elephants,
I do it all day long,
I pick up half a dozen
and hoist them in the air,
it's really somewhat simple,
for I have strength to spare.
My muscles are enormous,
they bulge from top to toe,
and when I carry elephants,
they ripple to and fro,
but I am not the strongest
in the Simpson family,
for when I carry elephants,
my grandma carries me.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Wishin'
We all wish we had someone to call our own
Love is a thought better felt then known
Right when we think we got things right
It feels like everything goes wrong in just a night
Makes me wonder
Why everything goes under
Is true love really out there?
Or is life gonna continue to be unfair?
So sick of being alone
Just wish I could have someone to talk to on the phone
Someone who understands me
Someone I can feel like I need
Someone to be with me when nights are lonely and cold
Someone to turn to when all my troubles unfold
Valentines is not gonna be the same
My birthday feels like it might be lame
Having someone around just makes things better
Having no one to call my own has kept me under the weather
Everyone says I'll have my day under the sun
When will that day come
I'll wait as long as it'll take
To find someone far from fake
I'll take my time
Find someone I can truly call mine
I'll give her nothing but happiness
Treat her well and make an endless promise
To never yell or argue with her
To be as caring as I can be
To never let her get hurt
To always be by her side and never leave
Won't act like other guys
I'll make her realize
She's worth more then she could ever imagine
Could make a girl happier then she had ever been.......................
Love is a thought better felt then known
Right when we think we got things right
It feels like everything goes wrong in just a night
Makes me wonder
Why everything goes under
Is true love really out there?
Or is life gonna continue to be unfair?
So sick of being alone
Just wish I could have someone to talk to on the phone
Someone who understands me
Someone I can feel like I need
Someone to be with me when nights are lonely and cold
Someone to turn to when all my troubles unfold
Valentines is not gonna be the same
My birthday feels like it might be lame
Having someone around just makes things better
Having no one to call my own has kept me under the weather
Everyone says I'll have my day under the sun
When will that day come
I'll wait as long as it'll take
To find someone far from fake
I'll take my time
Find someone I can truly call mine
I'll give her nothing but happiness
Treat her well and make an endless promise
To never yell or argue with her
To be as caring as I can be
To never let her get hurt
To always be by her side and never leave
Won't act like other guys
I'll make her realize
She's worth more then she could ever imagine
Could make a girl happier then she had ever been.......................
Don't sit there dazed and confused
This is where I insert my point of view
What I really think about the world and everything inside
Would shock you and leave you thinking I am right
Just cause things are wrong doesn't mean you can't put up a fight
It might just be me but it seems like too many have lost sight
Giving up on giving up
Not even trying to try to stay on top
Life may seem unfocused
Blurry to the naked eye
Nothing'll get sharp with just time
Sure you got hurt
But time is worthless without the effort
So get up or shut up
How do I know what to say?
Cause the person being addressed is me everyday.
This is where I insert my point of view
What I really think about the world and everything inside
Would shock you and leave you thinking I am right
Just cause things are wrong doesn't mean you can't put up a fight
It might just be me but it seems like too many have lost sight
Giving up on giving up
Not even trying to try to stay on top
Life may seem unfocused
Blurry to the naked eye
Nothing'll get sharp with just time
Sure you got hurt
But time is worthless without the effort
So get up or shut up
How do I know what to say?
Cause the person being addressed is me everyday.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
A quick glance at the world around me
An emptiness fills the air
So many lossed souls searching for sympathy
But no one really cares
Breath in sorrow and sadness
Exhale anger and madness
More and more, others are searching for an answer
It's sad that this answer doesn't exist
Yet they don't stop looking, they feed off the search like cancer
Tense and unwilling to cooperate they grow angry and ball up a fist
A swing at the sky and another at the face of society
A realization has come to be
Sometimes you find everything in nothing and nothing in everything
The more you search the farther you get from the truth
Now beaten and bruised you will take anything
Stray away from this sorrow and unacceptance
All answers don't fall far from the tree
Happiness is the only way you can see
A mad man is blind and broken
A joyous figure can see color and often gets what he has chosen
An emptiness fills the air
So many lossed souls searching for sympathy
But no one really cares
Breath in sorrow and sadness
Exhale anger and madness
More and more, others are searching for an answer
It's sad that this answer doesn't exist
Yet they don't stop looking, they feed off the search like cancer
Tense and unwilling to cooperate they grow angry and ball up a fist
A swing at the sky and another at the face of society
A realization has come to be
Sometimes you find everything in nothing and nothing in everything
The more you search the farther you get from the truth
Now beaten and bruised you will take anything
Stray away from this sorrow and unacceptance
All answers don't fall far from the tree
Happiness is the only way you can see
A mad man is blind and broken
A joyous figure can see color and often gets what he has chosen
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Just something weird I wrote!
Panic
From a manic depressive
Thoughts
About knots left from being alone
Breaking
The growing barriers that have been made by others
Kill
Just for the thrill of destroying fake feelings made by lovers
Run
Get away from the con we call problems
Why
Did I make all the careless mistakes while I was under the weather?
Where
Was there an opportunity to make things better?
When
Will things change and stay that way?
What
Will my future be like when all is said and done?
How
Is it possible for all the scum of the earth to thrive?
Can
I truly get over this distrust for humanity and "survive"?
Questions asked
Answers stated
Issues passed
And problems faded
All things have to change
But hope has a range
Deposited my good feelings
Saved them for later
Withdrew my sadness and sorrow
Get it over with so I can have a better tomorrow.
From a manic depressive
Thoughts
About knots left from being alone
Breaking
The growing barriers that have been made by others
Kill
Just for the thrill of destroying fake feelings made by lovers
Run
Get away from the con we call problems
Why
Did I make all the careless mistakes while I was under the weather?
Where
Was there an opportunity to make things better?
When
Will things change and stay that way?
What
Will my future be like when all is said and done?
How
Is it possible for all the scum of the earth to thrive?
Can
I truly get over this distrust for humanity and "survive"?
Questions asked
Answers stated
Issues passed
And problems faded
All things have to change
But hope has a range
Deposited my good feelings
Saved them for later
Withdrew my sadness and sorrow
Get it over with so I can have a better tomorrow.
Questioning my existence and why I came to be
Dark days surrounded by ignorance I have just come to see
Trying to figure out what's alright and what's not OK
Wishing nothing would annoy me today
Some people are just out to irritate you like fleas
It's not bad to make new enemies
Like the death of John F Kennedy it's a mystery
Why non of us have come to see
That the secret to life is to just be happy
Sure there is those problems
Ever haunting our lives
But they only exist when we let them get to our head
Watching you sink and leaving you for dead
Could tell you to ignore or pretend like they don't exist
But reality will just make things worse and you'll be pissed
The truth is all you can do is cope
Try to rid off all potential problems and cope
Mixed emotions hitting you from all angles makes it hard
Feels like you got hit by a car
Head spinning
To the point that you can hear your own whimpering
No one ever said it would be easy
Just living your own life aint easy
Dark days surrounded by ignorance I have just come to see
Trying to figure out what's alright and what's not OK
Wishing nothing would annoy me today
Some people are just out to irritate you like fleas
It's not bad to make new enemies
Like the death of John F Kennedy it's a mystery
Why non of us have come to see
That the secret to life is to just be happy
Sure there is those problems
Ever haunting our lives
But they only exist when we let them get to our head
Watching you sink and leaving you for dead
Could tell you to ignore or pretend like they don't exist
But reality will just make things worse and you'll be pissed
The truth is all you can do is cope
Try to rid off all potential problems and cope
Mixed emotions hitting you from all angles makes it hard
Feels like you got hit by a car
Head spinning
To the point that you can hear your own whimpering
No one ever said it would be easy
Just living your own life aint easy
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