all in all its unknown, a person is really random there is no one person that is alike and no one person that can fully trust another. i have only lived 20 years but i have been all over the world and the realization that i have come up with.... well.... i don't like people all too much. is it cause i am misanthropic? no. is it cause i have been fucked over sooooooo many times? no. it's because no one person can fully make up their minds and be content with what they have. everyone in this miserable hell whole i call ventura are so materialistic and full of it they make all their problems everyone elses. i look at those people and they make me sick! sure i have been pissed, sure i have been unbelievably sad but never have i made it anyone's problem but my own, i turn to a select few to help me out and if i turn to you consider yourself lucky cause i dont like to do that often. i guess i am just rambling but for once i am content with everything i got and if i were to lose my material goods in a fire... well i'd be ok with that cause i dont need them to survive.
thanks to the friends who helped me out when i needed it,
J!D!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
here i go again
the search for the new room mate is on once again! I am ecstatic and excited, not really. HAHA This shit is getting old, I am tired of meeting new people. Oh well, I'll be in Santa Monica soon and I hope my best friend will be too, who knows?
Friday, January 30, 2009
To all those that I havent been acting like myself towards,
I am sorry, the last week sucked and I really should've kept my composure. I am never this way and it really sucks that I havent been myself. The truth is it could be a lot worse, it really could! I am truly sorry to those who have it that bad and am willing to help ya out if you need it. Although no one will probably read this I just wanted to put it out there. My problems arent even half bad, I'll live and everything will get way better! I can't wait for my best friend to move out here and hang out with me, gonna be sick! We will ruin LA with an iron fist haha! No more staying in bed past 9 and definitely no more punching walls cause my pinky is pretty swollen haha! I am gonna chill with some friends!
Later,
J!D!
PS there is a huge fire down the street! Lots of smoke and firetrucks haha RAD!
I am sorry, the last week sucked and I really should've kept my composure. I am never this way and it really sucks that I havent been myself. The truth is it could be a lot worse, it really could! I am truly sorry to those who have it that bad and am willing to help ya out if you need it. Although no one will probably read this I just wanted to put it out there. My problems arent even half bad, I'll live and everything will get way better! I can't wait for my best friend to move out here and hang out with me, gonna be sick! We will ruin LA with an iron fist haha! No more staying in bed past 9 and definitely no more punching walls cause my pinky is pretty swollen haha! I am gonna chill with some friends!
Later,
J!D!
PS there is a huge fire down the street! Lots of smoke and firetrucks haha RAD!
just bring it
bring the bad luck cause I am ready for it, my room mate is moving out tomorrow which means I have to find a room mate in 5 fucking days or I have to pay $1420! FUCK! I would ask can shit get any worse but I wont cause I know it can!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Who ya kidding?
Lies fed to the hungry
False hopes and dreams
Filled with ads and schemes
We sit and watch the damnation
Of the multimillion dollar corporation
I wanna be the son of a bitch responsible
For misleading the leader
For conning the con artist
For killing the killer
With the mindset on total destruction
I wanna rid the undermining instructions
I don't wanna get rich fast
I wanna work hard and make it last
Nothing's given away for free
Every free giveaway has got a consequence!
Lies fed to the hungry
False hopes and dreams
Filled with ads and schemes
We sit and watch the damnation
Of the multimillion dollar corporation
I wanna be the son of a bitch responsible
For misleading the leader
For conning the con artist
For killing the killer
With the mindset on total destruction
I wanna rid the undermining instructions
I don't wanna get rich fast
I wanna work hard and make it last
Nothing's given away for free
Every free giveaway has got a consequence!
Monday, January 26, 2009
ANGER
Angry at the world
Personal and probable
I ain’t changing for a living soul
Comfortable living in a whole
Outcasted from all social profiles
Would and have walked for miles
Finding solidarity
Where others wouldn’t care to see
Can’t stand society
Get my kicks from hating humanity
There isn’t a thing worth caring about
Not a soul worth losing your hair over
No joke
I wish the scum of the earth would just choke
Outlaws of society
Outcasted by normality
We are different in our own entirety
I just want to be me
Stick out like a sore thumb
Life’s just like laces just undone
Angry at the world
Personal and probable
I ain’t changing for a living soul
Comfortable living in a whole
Outcasted from all social profiles
Would and have walked for miles
Finding solidarity
Where others wouldn’t care to see
Can’t stand society
Get my kicks from hating humanity
There isn’t a thing worth caring about
Not a soul worth losing your hair over
No joke
I wish the scum of the earth would just choke
Outlaws of society
Outcasted by normality
We are different in our own entirety
I just want to be me
Stick out like a sore thumb
Life’s just like laces just undone
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I am so glad I have such good friends right now, especially one though. Britanny Lobdell you are and will always be my best friend, hopefully all goes as planned and we will live together with Winston! I hope and know nothing will ever get between us and I am positive you will become famous and get your Audi TT cause you are confident in yourself and very smart, that is a rare find! Thanks for always being there for me through thick and thin, this friendship will last forever I promise! Love you boo!
PS Disneyland and tattoos soon!
PS Disneyland and tattoos soon!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Not gonna find peace of mind
Finding it hard to find
Happiness not short from sadness
Anger's got a lot to do with my madness!
Blow your brains out
Hang yourself under a childhood tree
Take the easy way out
Selfishness aint anything short of being lazy
Used to feel bad
Can't believe in crying inside
No matter how big or bad your problems are
Someones problems are bigger by far!
Tears aint worth a dime unless they are being filmed
Screams can be heard by everything but progress
Going no where fast but everywhere quickly
Your direction has become endless
Change it quick so death can feel like an accomplishment instead of a nuisance
Why turn your back on life?
Figure it out but don't give me an answer
Stop asking questions
Don't exhert such angry gestures
Don't bring up your religion
Aimlessly following a story
A pathetic follower searching for acceptance
Except where it makes the most sense
An agnostic without a cause
Don't agree with any psychological laws
My blood can run cold
But my body remains warm!
Finding it hard to find
Happiness not short from sadness
Anger's got a lot to do with my madness!
Blow your brains out
Hang yourself under a childhood tree
Take the easy way out
Selfishness aint anything short of being lazy
Used to feel bad
Can't believe in crying inside
No matter how big or bad your problems are
Someones problems are bigger by far!
Tears aint worth a dime unless they are being filmed
Screams can be heard by everything but progress
Going no where fast but everywhere quickly
Your direction has become endless
Change it quick so death can feel like an accomplishment instead of a nuisance
Why turn your back on life?
Figure it out but don't give me an answer
Stop asking questions
Don't exhert such angry gestures
Don't bring up your religion
Aimlessly following a story
A pathetic follower searching for acceptance
Except where it makes the most sense
An agnostic without a cause
Don't agree with any psychological laws
My blood can run cold
But my body remains warm!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
People can be extraordinarily selfish, it makes me sick just thinking about people's unusual self-centered personality. I have only met a few people who are truly kind and who help others before themselves, one of which is my best friend who lives 3,000 miles away but is soon gonna be living with me. If people could be more like her there wouldn't be so much sadness or pain cause others would truly be there for their friends and not just say it. I can't remember the last time I made a big deal out of anything cause I know there are problems bigger and much more painful then any I may have. I love life and nothing is going to change that. The bigger portion of society needs to take their heads out of their asses and stop making such a big deal out of such small problems.
with that being said I wrote this:
Masks of false emotions
This is not how I truly feel
All is not well
Far from ok
Sickened by society
Hurt by selfishness
My heart is filled with pity
My lungs are filled with hatred
I breathe in anger and fear
There is no sign that hope is near
We watch as the world spins
Ask our selves why people punish themselves for their sins
What doesn’t make sense to us
Makes sense to others
Keep your mouth shut
And your ears open
Maybe you could learn a thing or two
About the real you
My eyes only see war
My ears only hear slander
I can see change
But even that has a range
Many ask themselves what is the point
No answer has been scientifically proven
But you live day by day
Only to see that everything keeps moving
It’s no secret that life is a plant in itself
It breathes and every now and then needs to be taken off the shelf
My hands only feel the sharp blades of lessons learned
My head only thinks about love lost
I hope I will never again be burned
By the unadulterated feeling of lust
I’ve come so far from being a child
My feeling of love however has been sick and mild
I hope that one day I find my way out
Of this dilute jar of feelings I no longer need
Like anger, fear, and hatred
Others live off a picture perfect façade
I keep my distance from that jagged knife
Maybe you are my ticket out of this hell whole I call life
with that being said I wrote this:
Masks of false emotions
This is not how I truly feel
All is not well
Far from ok
Sickened by society
Hurt by selfishness
My heart is filled with pity
My lungs are filled with hatred
I breathe in anger and fear
There is no sign that hope is near
We watch as the world spins
Ask our selves why people punish themselves for their sins
What doesn’t make sense to us
Makes sense to others
Keep your mouth shut
And your ears open
Maybe you could learn a thing or two
About the real you
My eyes only see war
My ears only hear slander
I can see change
But even that has a range
Many ask themselves what is the point
No answer has been scientifically proven
But you live day by day
Only to see that everything keeps moving
It’s no secret that life is a plant in itself
It breathes and every now and then needs to be taken off the shelf
My hands only feel the sharp blades of lessons learned
My head only thinks about love lost
I hope I will never again be burned
By the unadulterated feeling of lust
I’ve come so far from being a child
My feeling of love however has been sick and mild
I hope that one day I find my way out
Of this dilute jar of feelings I no longer need
Like anger, fear, and hatred
Others live off a picture perfect façade
I keep my distance from that jagged knife
Maybe you are my ticket out of this hell whole I call life
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
