you know what?

as shitty as things may be watching the Graduate made me really realize something. I am exactly like Benjamin Braddock, a graduate who has not a thought in the world were I am going but am ok with it and I will fight for the girl I want even if I dont know who she is. That really confusing girl came over today, the girl that I kissed and then she told me that she was in love with her ex and then she kissed me, yeah well she watched the movie with me and kept inching closer but I denied her. She's just full of problems that I dont need and she told me "Can we pretend that never happened?" the first time we kissed. Who says that and then expects something to come out of coming over. I finally said she could come over because I wanted her to know I dont want a part of something that wont end well. I've been fucked over before which might be why this doesnt suck as much. oh well it happens and for the first time I just do not care at all, it just seems ok to me. I wanna go back to Cali but I know I wont be able to afford the rent out there that my parents want me to pay. I got $5,000 saved up but it aint gonna do me any good just wasting it on rent without a job. I gotta see what I can do I guess.


I wrote this, it's kinda cute I guess. It is for an acoustic song i am gonna record, if anyone is reading this I could really use the notes or a critique.

Hell is a fine place
Where all our villains go to lay
Together you’ll find we could make this world great
If only it weren’t too late
Fate is a fine shade of black
Of which could never be a fact

Hell gives one hell of a night a new name
Brings the bad news to a close
The night my heart froze
So even the worst of the worst could be put to frame
Nothing could ever be the same
Man that night was really lame
Tell me what was going through your head
When you said what you said

When a timid kiss transformed bliss
Would be one thing to state that this was fate
I got a broken heart
Of which was never together from the start
How could I pretend it never happened
You kissed me and told me the plane has landed
Or that’s just how it sounded
When you took what little I had left
I wish I had just one last breath

So here we are
At this lonely street of ours
Pretending to just be friends
So we wouldn’t have any problems to mend
No chances taken
No problems created
When our simple lives faded